John Lennon’s eldest son, Julian, admitted that his relationship with his father was not ideal. Julian grew up during Beatlemania, watched his parents’ marriage crumble, and then went years without speaking to his dad. When Julian was just 8 years old, Lennon moved to the United States and effectively broke contact with his son. Julian shared how this felt.
John Lennon’s son said he didn’t have a good relationship with his father
In 1971, Lennon’s ex-wife, Cynthia, learned through the news that Lennon moved to the United States. He decided that Cynthia should discuss Julian with Yoko Ono and went for three years without seeing or speaking to his young son. Julian said this was hard to handle as a child.
“I know that Dad was an idol to millions who grew up loving his music and his ideals. But to me he wasn’t a musician or a peace icon, he was the father I loved and who let me down in so many ways,” Julian wrote in the foreword to Cynthia Lennon’s book, John. “After the age of five, when my parents separated, I saw him only a handful of times, and when I did he was often remote and intimidating.”
Julian said he wanted a relationship with his father, but Lennon was completely unwilling to connect with his eldest son.
“I grew up longing for more contact with him but felt rejected and unimportant in his life,” Julian wrote. “Dad was a great talent, a remarkable man who stood for peace and love in the world. But at the same time he found it very hard to show any peace and love to his first family — my mother and me.”
John Lennon’s son called his father a hypocrite
As Julian grew up and paid more attention to his father’s public presence, he began to think of him as a hypocrite.
“I have to say that, from my point of view, I felt he was a hypocrite,” Julian told The Telegraph in 1998. “Dad could talk about peace and love out loud to the world but he could never show it to the people who supposedly meant the most to him: his wife and son. How can you talk about peace and love and have a family in bits and pieces — no communication, adultery, divorce? You can’t do it, not if you’re being true and honest with yourself.”
Cynthia felt similarly. She recalled feeling furious that Lennon could promote unity with a song like “Imagine” but fail to offer kindness to his own family.
He said he eventually forgave his dad
Nearly three decades after Lennon’s death, Julian said he came to forgive him. He’d been writing a song about the death of his friend, Lucy, when he realized he was still holding on to resentment.
“With Dad running off and divorcing Mum, I had a lot of bitterness and anger I was living with,” he told CBS News in 2009. “In the past, I had said I had forgiven Dad, but it was only words. It wasn’t until the passing of my friend Lucy and the writing of this song that really helped me forgive my father. I realized if I continued to feel that anger and bitterness towards my dad, I would have a constant cloud hanging over my head my whole life.”
Writing music became an invaluable outlet for him.
“Writing is therapy for me and, for the first time in my life, I’m actually feeling it and believing it,” he said. “It also has allowed me to actually embrace Dad and the Beatles.”
