DAN Barlaser is never happy to sit on the bench but you’ll never find him sulking about it. Not anymore anyway.
Earlier in his career, the 27-year-old might not have taken to being left out of a starting XI very well.
But things changed for the Middlesbrough midfielder when he became a dad. Now, while he’d understandably still prefer to be on the pitch rather than the bench on a Saturday afternoon, he says he’s come to learn to be grateful for what he has. And not a day goes by where he doesn’t count himself lucky to be playing football for a living.
“My perspective changed a lot when I had kids,” says Barlaser, a dad of two.
“I do everything for them now and work as hard as I can for them. When you have kids you learn to stop sulking about things and get on with it.
“There are people in far worse positions than we are, so the flipside is to be grateful for what you have. Even when I’m not named in the starting line-up, I’m still a professional footballer and it’s a privilege to even sit on the bench.
“I know I just have to stay patient and then when you have days like this, it makes it all worth it.
“I’m at a great club, with great people and great facilities and it’s so close to home, so the missus loves that. We play good football and while I’ve been here we’ve always been in with a chance of going up as well. Hopefully it will be an even bigger chance this year.”
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By “days like this”, Barlaser means Saturday’s emphatic success at Oxford, where the former Newcastle United youngster was handed just his second league start of the season in the absence of injured duo Aidan Morris and Hayden Hackney.
And he took his chance, impressing in the middle of the park alongside captain Jonny Howson.
“It felt good to play. I’m obviously disappointed not to start in a long time, but you’ve just got to stay ready and make sure you take the chances when they come,” he said, before recalling what he learnt in a crucial loan spell at Crewe early in his career.
Barlaser was just 19 when he joined Crewe on loan for the second half of the 2017/18 season but hardly featured.
“You’ve got to stay fit and stay professional – keep your head down really,” he says.
“Then when you’re called upon, you’ve got to try and do your best. I’ve had it before when I first went out on loan to Crewe. I learned a lot in that spell about staying patient and staying fit. I always say, ‘Your best availability is being available’. If I can get a couple of games now, it’s up to me to try and cement my place.”
Even though he hasn’t played as much as he’d like, Barlaser remains a hugely important figure behind the scenes at Boro, with Michael Carrick recently telling of how the midfielder has a “massive influence” in the dressing room.
And the feeling of admiration is mutual.
“It’s unbelievable to work under him,” said Barlaser of Boro’s boss.
“I’ve learned so much from him and I just try to pick up anything I can from him – even little things. At Rotherham it was a bit more direct, so coming into more of a footballing team, I’ve had to learn a lot and adapt.
“He speaks with everyone and treats everything with respect. He’ll put his opinion across and explain why you aren’t in the team and then you’ve got to get on with it. Train well and wait for your next chance.”
And Barlaser might now have a chance of an extended run in the side. With Morris set to be on the sidelines for a number of weeks and a return date for Hackney not yet known, Barlaser could be set for a spell in the starting XI in what the midfielder believes is a crucial spell in the campaign.
“I think the winter months are always the most important of the season – up to March,” he said.
“We’ve got a good run of games between now and the next international break so we’ll need everybody in the squad.
“You’ve got to stay in and around it and you give yourself a great chance. We’ve just got to stay focused and keep picking up results, keep momentum going and see where it takes us. You could say we’ve just clicked, but I’d say we’ve been clicking since the start of the season. We’ve just started scoring now. We’ve got threats all over and hopefully we can keep it going.”
