Last year, paleontologists found remnants of large land-snail shells that had been cooked and presumably eaten in a cave in the western Lebombo Mountains in South Africa’s Kwazulu-Natal region.
The shells date back more than 70,000 years, suggesting humans ate snails much longer ago than previously thought.
What scientists didn’t find in that cave, however, was any evidence of garlic and butter, proving once again that South African cuisine is terrible.
Only joshing. What is no joke are the snails at Lulu’s Little Bistro, a little bistro (sheesh) on Bulwer Street near the Hyde Park Hotel run by Mark and Jodie Pearson, a well-travelled couple with a deep love of French food. The 28-capacity diner is named after their daughter.
Mark’s escargot is terrific. The molluscs are secluded in large shells, smothered in garlic butter and covered in a gratinee of cheese, parsley and breadcrumbs. A dozen costs $30, half that is $18.
Jodie informed me later that the snails came all the way from France. They must have departed during the Napoleonic Wars, but the journey was worth it as they were some of the best snails in Perth.
The Pearsons plan to source them from closer to home as soon as possible, which should save on them shelling out for air freight. Sorry!
The escargot was one of eight entrees so French that they could’ve been scrawled on a chalkboard outside some rustic farmhouse restaurant on the outskirts of Lyon or in the Dordogne.
Cheese souffle, pork rillettes, chicken and pork terrine, duck liver pate, steak tartare and seared scallops. Oh, and French onion soup. Bon jour, Francophiles.
Order the charcuterie board, which serves two to four people for $65 and features the terrine, pate and rillettes, plus cured meats, pickled vegetables, onion jam and croutons.
That’s what we did on a recent Saturday evening, when eight of us piled into Lulu’s for a night of Gallic gastronomy washed down with an intimidating line-up of bottles spanning champagne through full-bodied reds to muscat.
This group of old university mates are the kind of folks that make you grab an extra bottle as you walk out the door. A contingency bottle. You can always bring it home (voiceover: we didn’t bring it home).
Yes, Lulu’s is BYO, with corkage costing $10 per person. Once upon a time, bring-your-own restaurants were the norm, not the exception, in Perth.
There are so many positives. The plonk is basically free if you chucked it in your wine rack yonks ago. You have no idea what it cost. It might have been a gift.
But if it’s corked — if it has a cork — or is subpar, you can’t blame the sommelier.
Lulu’s doesn’t have one anyway. On the night we dined, Jodie was flying solo out on the floor, while Mark toiled away in the kitchen. He got in at 10am that day and would still be there more than 12 hours later. Small family businesses like this are hard work.
A decade ago, Mark was head chef at P’tite Ardoise, another family-owned French affair a jete east on Beaufort Street run by chef Xavier Pique and wife Valerie.
Lulu’s is a similar little beast. There’s no faffing about in this bistro. No foam, no foraging, no tweezers, no worries. Just good, honest, classic, provincial Gallic cuisine.
Being a big group, we tried almost everything on the menu.
The charcuterie was solid without being excellent. And I wouldn’t recommend sharing it among more than three people.
Like the escargot, the huge, juicy scallops ($27 for four) were magnifique in a cauliflower puree, with roasted cauliflower, crispy prosciutto, apple balsamic glaze and a little basil oil. A beautifully balanced dish.
On the flip side, the French onion soup ($18) was uninspiring, even with a generous lid of Comte cheese. Mistelle in Shenton Park does a superior version.
Cheese souffle ($22) rose to the occasion accompanied with ratatouille, tomato fondue and more basil oil.
Like everything, the souffle was more French than smelly fromage and bureaucracy.
As we devoured our entrees, Jodie informed us that only two serves of the confit duck ($44) remained. Quelle horreur!
My gin-making mate James, who loves an excruciatingly elaborate contest, proposed a French spelling bee to determine who got first dibs on the canard.
Another mate, who would struggle to spell RSVP, excused himself and ordered the potato gnocchi with gorgonzola cream ($32).
In the end, two of the ladies landed the confit duck leg with seared breast duck fat potatoes and beans, ladled with an orange and port jus — a rich dish with assertively lingering aniseed notes.
James was more than happy with his classic beef bourguignon ($39), braised beef cheek in red wine with mushrooms, onion, speck, mashed potato and a few seasonal vegetables. Again, this main could take star billing at any half-decent bistro in Burgundy.
The souffle was more French than smelly fromage and bureaucracy.
Myra had the fish du jour, in this case, beautifully plump Rankin cod served with croquettes and a delicious tomato fondue that made up for the inadequate amount of bearnaise.
Nor was I disappointed, as my 200g Black Angus beef fillet Rossini ($48) was as good as the ripper I had at Hotel L’Esplanade in Domme, a medieval village in the heart of the Dordogne region.
Also known as Tournedos Rossini, this standard is thought to have been invented in the early 19th century by French master chef Marie-Antoine Careme.
Mark’s Rossini is probably the same as Careme would have served kings. A perfectly seared fillet — rare, in my case — on a pile of creamy potato dauphinoise with foie gras, a layer of mushroom duxelles paste and wilted garlic spinach.
The desserts were equally as rich, especially the chocolate mousse — a large serve with fresh berries, coulis and biscotti for $15. The other options included a vanilla creme brulee and white chocolate pannacotta. Or all three in a petit trio for $15.
After all that, and the wine, most of us wished we could, like those snails, curl up in a shell.
Lulu’s Little Bistro
328 Bulwer Street, Perth
OPEN
Thursday-Saturday, 6pm-11pm
CONTACT
0415 119 011, lululilbistro.com
BOOKINGS
Yes
THE VERDICT
If you desire tres classique French cuisine without any nouvelle faff creeping in and want to make a dent in your wine rack, then look no further than Lulu’s. Charming little family-run, inner-city bistro serving dinner three days a week. BYO.
15.5/20
