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Monday, January 30, 2023

MJF enlists an international star to inflict pain on Bryan Danielson

After having his arm Pillman-ized by Brian Cage and MJF after securing his latest win on AEW Dynamite, Bryan Danielson’s shoulder was in bad shape. Posted up in Doc Sampson’s office, Renee Paquette made her way to the back to get a status update on Danielson, and after hearing that he has a “partially subluxated femoral joint” that isn’t looking very good, “The American Dragon” lost it, telling the good doc that he didn’t care what he has to say.

“I don’t care what you think, can I wrestle, or can I not wrestle?” Danielson asked. When he was told no, he went off on Doc Sampson before turning his attention to MJF. “Yes, I can,” Danielson said. “You said a partially dislocated whatever, I wrestled 60 godd*mn minutes with a separated shoulder, ain’t nobody stopping me from wrestling. Max, you think there’s some kind of monster behind the mask? Do you want to know what I think is behind the mask? Fear, because you’re afraid of getting hurt, you’re afraid of getting exposed, you’re afraid that I’m going to take the one thing you value more than anything in this world. And that’s that AEW Championship. But when I do, Max, I’m not going to just expose you, I’m going to show the whole world that what’s behind that mask, is a fraud. And the person who would be, and should be, the AEW World Championship is Bryan Danielson. You (Doc Sampson) are not stopping me from wrestling ever again.”

If Danielson is going to keep his win streak alive, he’ll have a tough task, as MJF has contracted the services of Timothy Thatcher, the WWE-turned-DDT star who has a pension for violence and a wicked cobra clutch that could spell bad news for a performer with an injured shoulder.

MJF has a message for Bryan Danielson about his next opponent.

After leaving the ring area following Brian Cage’s brutal assault on Danielson, MJF posted up in a locker room of his own to avoid the ire of “The American Dragon” but did so with an AEW camera crew in hand to issue a challenge for the forthcoming edition of Dynamite.

“My apologies for having to speak to you people from a dimly lit locker room, but some people just can’t seem to keep their emotions in check around this place,” MJF said. “Granted, I’m not the first jew who had to hide from a man with blue eyes, now am I? Takeshita! That’s right, I know how to say your name, big guy, granted, I still think ‘Take-A-Sh*t’ is freakin’ hilarious, but hey, I can’t force the fans to have taste. But I have taste Takeshita, I think you’re really talented man, inside that squared circle, you are very, very talented, but unfortunately, up top, you’re a little bit smooth-brained. See, you think it’s a good idea to dance with the devil, and I’m here to tell you, you can’t match my tempo. So stay out of my business, or there will be consequences.”

“Speaking of, Bryan Danielson, the American Dragon, how’s that wing of yours doing, bud? I bet it’s hanging on by a thread. But no, you’re gonna keep on going, right? You’re gonna keep on marching towards March 5th at Revolution and that one-hour iron man match because you’re so brave, you’re a valiant warrior, you’re a hero! At least, that’s what the fans think of you, but I know better. I know, you’re obsessed, just like I’m obsessed with the Triple B, the AEW World Championship.”

“See this belt gives me a reason to get out of bed in the morning because this belt stands for the simple fact that all my blood, sweat, hard work, tears, and, yes, my sins, they were all worth it. This belt turns my catchphrase into a fact, this belt does make me better than you, and you know it. This belt is the only thing in my life I’ve ever had that makes me feel whole, and you want to take that away from me, Bryan? Why? Don’t you have enough, man? A loving family, an adoring fanbase, a first-ballot Hall of Fame career? No, you need to take away from Max. See, I know the real reason why, Bryan, it’s because, just like me, you’ve got a hole in your soul, and you’re trying to fill it. But I’m not the one to get that job done, Bryan. No, not by a long shot. You see, bad things happen to people who mess with MJF in this company. Matter of fact, I remember knocking out some big British guy, kind of looked like Ellen DeGeneres on meth. The name is on the top of my tongue. Ahh, it’s not important. What is important is you know this: tonight was just the tip of the iceberg, and if you keep threatening to take away the one thing in this world that brings me happiness, you’re going to find out that tonight was only physical pain. Physical pain is fleeting, you don’t want me to get to the mental pain, Bryan, because that really leaves a scar.”

“Now, this week, Tony Khan has issued an open challenge for any man to fight you on next week’s Dynamite, so I made a phone call to a gentleman who loves inflicting pain. A man who gets off on scientifically dismantling men limb from limb. It’s been a fun ride, Dragon, but I’m afraid it’s over.”

Can Bryan Danielson outlast Timothy Thatcher, a former WWE superstar who has a particularly brutal cobra clutch? Or will his already injured should collapse under the pressure of yet another technician? Fortunately, fans will find out soon enough.

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